newest entry / host
email / guestbook
One of my many side projects, The Burning has characters taken for my real life. I tend not to make up personalities because I know so many real ones like the back of my hand. This is not auto-biographical, however. I hope you enjoy, and feedback is cherished. Visit my diaryland page.

bring on the heartbreak
"Amanda!" Karrie commanded for my attention. I knew what she was thinking. She had found me yet another disaster waiting to happen, or as she liked to call it, a "perfect match." I really enjoyed her enthusiasm and genuwine concern of my lonliness. I had learned to deal with it through the months, that dragged on like decades. I had become accustomed to being in a room full of budding new romances. I just stared at my shoelaces. I had learned to untie them with my eyes.

Everyone's dependency upon their lovers was startling and questionable. What if some horrific accident happened and left them departed for life? What if they had a momentary lapse in judgement, and committed unfaithfulness? Through all the chaos and questions where I was standing - alone - seemed to be the ultimate sin. I still didn't understand what was the big deal about never being able to get the oppisite sex out of your head.

"I know, I know. This time you've really found him," I sneered. I was grateful for her loyalty to help me find someone. But frankly, having your heart thrown into a sea as big as the ache in my throat was wearing me out. She pouted at my cynical response. I'll admit, I could turn her down politely but I don't know if she'd take me seriously.

"Come on, Mandy! I really have found THE ONE for you. He is exactly your type and I'm sure if you gave him a chance .." she paused. "I know these past few months you've been fine alone, but that's just what you tell me. I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your voice, I feel it when you enter the room. You need to move on, Amanda. Please?" I admit, what she said got to me. I was going to try it, one last time. It couldn't hurt, not worse than I was hurting now, anyway.

"Bring on the heartbreak, Karrie," I sighed. I couldn't just revoke her so many times. Besides, he asking was getting on my nerves. I'd take one last chance, for her. To prove that my history will yet again burn me alive.

@ 2002-10-24

past .. future